“It's The Best Thing I've Ever Been Involved In” – Emily Bettison & Ashley Pollard On ‘Caffeinate’
Emily Bettison. Image: Matt Vine
For Adelaide musician Emily Bettison, being creative isn’t just something she does for a hobby; it’s a way of life.
Having loved music from a young age and performing for years, it only made sense that Emily would enter into the world of music at some point. That musical journey would result in bands such as The Card Houses and Mackenzie, and a solo project named FERRNS.
Along the way though, the creativity took on other forms too. In addition to studying audio engineering and getting a Bachelor of Music, Emily teamed up with fellow musician Adrian Whalland to launch STAK Sounds, a service which began offering budding musicians royalty-free a capella and music samples, but soon pivoted to write music for TV and film syncs. Add in a position as half of the entertainment duo Andy & Emily, and a side-hustle crafting earrings as well, and you’ve got an artist who can’t be stopped.
Most recently though, Emily has been gearing up to relaunch herself as a solo artist, this time under her own name. The relaunch officially made itself apparent in late June with the release of her single ‘Caffeinate’; a gorgeous piece of alt-pop that is as catchy and energetic as its name implies.
Alongside its release, Emily also teamed up with the exceptionally-talented Ashley Pollard, an Adelaide-based filmmaker with a history of not just capturing images, but telling visual stories through his work. Together, they combined to craft the ambitious video for ‘Caffeinate’, which is one you truly have to watch to appreciate its brilliance.
With the new single and video out in the world, I spoke to Emily and Ash about their respective careers, how they came to work together, and the creation of the wonderful video for ‘Caffeinate’.
Tyler Jenke: Let’s start this off with a simple question for you, Emily; how did you first get into the world of music?
Emily Bettison: I think that started as a kid. I think as with a lot of musicians, you pick up a guitar or play the piano or whatever, and then it kind of grows from there. I guess in high school, when it was getting close to finishing year 12 and everyone's like, ‘What are you going to do with your life?’ People were going and doing teaching and nursing and whatnot at uni, and I was just like, ‘I want to do music, though. That's what my goal is; that's my dream.’ I had teachers and my parents and everyone just being like, ‘Music's a cool hobby, but you need a job – you need a real job.’
And I just never really accepted that. I heard what they were saying, but I just refused to believe it. It makes sense to not do music, but I then did half of a graphic design degree because graphic design is, y’know, heaps more stable than being a musician. But the passion and the determination to write music, to want to share that, and to want to do that with my life, it just never went away.
And I started taking it a bit more seriously and then I got into studying music. So I did audio engineering, so that I could learn to record my own songs, and then did a Bachelor of Music as well. So I was following that path in an academic way to, yes, learn, but also, maybe it was a bit of trying to keep people happy?
Ashley Pollard: You were trying to validate it or legitimise it, I guess?
E: Yeah, and now I've got my Bachelor of Music hanging on my wall in my house, and that really helps; so many jobs out there.
T: On that topic, Ash, when it came to the visual side of things, did you ever have a similar sort of thing at all? Were you treated as though it wasn’t a real job or career path?
A: I mean, I was so naive I didn't even realise it was a job. I kind of fell into it accidentally in my early 20s, the film thing. So I was an only child and I think a lot of my imagination and storytelling came from that because I consumed a lot of media but also played by myself a lot and made my own games in my backyard with my dog.
I have an active imagination, also. I just consumed a lot of media, whether it be games, movies, reading, etc., and then was a terrible student – absolutely terrible student.
I graduated year 12 but didn't get my TER, so I just went into retail. But then, my affinity for movies kind of grew and grew and grew and I was like, ‘Oh, maybe I could be a movie reviewer?’, because I used to read lots of movie reviews. So I went back and did year 12 as a 20-year-old, and part of that was a media course which got us to make a movie trailer.
I did that and I was like, ‘Oh, no, no, no. I don't want to write about movies, I want to make movies.’ So since then, it's been an obsession. I was like, ‘Oh, this is actually a job that people do. People write, shoot, edit – there’s someone who does that and it's a job.’ So then, yeah, I went hardcore into it and have never looked back.
But, obviously, it's not a very stable or consistent money-earning job. So I've always had a day job; I had a day job for 15 years. That supermarket job that I started in high school fed me until I was 30, but I was freelancing on the side, and now I'm 35 and I can call it my full time job, which I'm pretty lucky to do.
T: That also sounds scarily like my own life in terms of being an only child with overactive imagination, working in retail, and staying in retail for a good many years until the creative industry actually sort of started paying off in some capacity. But it seems like you were both able to prove people wrong and tell them there’s a future in this arts industry?
E: I just never trusted that it wasn't an option and I didn't know what it would look or how I would make it work, but I just wanted to. So, picking up a few hundred bucks for gigs here and there, recording people and doing producing and recording projects for other people and stuff, I realised, ‘Okay, I can work in the music industry, but it's probably going to be with a few different income streams and a few, across a few different projects and stuff.’
T: You’ve had different musical projects over the years, tracing back to just after high school, but how did you manage to go from these different projects, and avenues like audio engineering and everything, to your own project under your own name?
E: In the early days, I played solo stuff, covers, and my own sad girl songs on the piano, and I did enjoy that, but I always wanted a band. I wanted that collaboration between people, I wanted to be on stage with other people that are in the same zone as me, and I wanted to have friends in a band to be able to feed off of.
I have had a few duos and bands. My original band Mackenzie did quite well, actually. We won the National Campus Band Comp in South Australia and competed nationally. So we got flown to Sydney to do that and got a big old novelty cheque. We won the Adelaide show talent competition and some stuff like that.
But with the band, I had just always found it difficult because they were my songs, it was my band, I was the front person and everyone else was there to support it essentially. They weren't as invested as I was, which makes sense, and it's fine, but that was always a struggle of being kind of held back by. It was these limitations of, ‘Okay, we can't do this gig now because someone’s not available’, or whatever.
So over time, I kind of realised that I don't want to have to rely on anyone else to be able to perform or to be able to write. I kind of just got to a point where I said I'm going to be a solo artist and I can have session musicians play with me for live shows, because that's easier as we all get older and have our own lives and families and stuff.
So that's where the name FERRNS came from. That was my solo band, I guess. It was me, but I had a band name for it. I did a bunch of shows under that name, and when Ash and I started working on video clip concepts for ‘Caffeinate’, I had a graphic designer do a logo for it and organise my brand identity. Then it just kind of hit me over two days.
I was like, ‘All right, I'm coming into release mode, I've got my Emily Bettison Instagram page; I've got my FERRNS Instagram page; I'm also doing my earrings, which are on their own Instagram page; I've got Stak; and then I've got Andy and Emily… and five Instagram pages is too many to manage. At that point, yeah. I realised it’s not practical or sustainable.
So I kind of asked myself the question, ‘What is the purpose of having this separate name when it is just me as a solo artist, and it's my creativity and expression?’ I've kind of realised now that I liked the option to kind of have this name to hide behind, whereas as I've gotten older and now I'm at a point where I feel more confident in myself and in my values and my mission in life, I suppose. Everything that I'm doing is part of that, part of that story. So it just made sense to ditch the other names and just be me; Emily Bettison, which is who I am.
It's already surprised me that I feel much more connected to this project – this music release – because it's under my own name. I feel in the past, maybe I wanted this distance to be able to hide behind it or to be a bit anonymous if I wanted to, but now I just don't want that anymore. It feels much more authentic to just own it and to have all of the things be part of my story.
T: Was there any sort of trepidation in putting yourself front and centre? You mentioned a sense of comfort, and I feel that security can definitely protect you, but there’s a sense of vulnerability to stepping out under your own name.
E: I guess the reason that I had these other names in the past is to be able to, yeah, hide behind them a bit and have it not be so attached personally to who I am. But it just felt the right thing to do. I guess I didn't really feel fear from it, it felt more empowering to be able to own that and just be like, ‘Yeah, this is me, this is my name, and these are the things that I do, rather than being like, ‘Oh, my music's under FERRNS, my earrings are under this, etc.’
Emily Bettison. Image: Chi Catalano
T: I guess a real sense of confidence in being able to sort of own it yourself, isn't there? But the big headline for you in recent times is the release of your ‘Caffeinate’ single. Where did everything start for that one? Where did it all kick off?
E: In 2018, with my partner at the time, we had made the decision to move out of our lounge room studio – we didn't have a lounge room, it was a studio – and into a proper music production space. So we went through that process of literally renovating an office into a studio. So there was all of that manual labour, we were literally building walls, putting insulation, painting and all of this. We made acoustic panelling and baffles to acoustically treat the space, and then that was all set up and I finally had my own studio to work in, which was so cool.
But I was getting in there and just getting in my head, giving myself a hard time because I felt like, ‘Now I've got no excuses. I'm not at home. I'm not getting distracted by anything else. I literally need to make music now, and I need to prove to myself that I actually can.’
So I set a creative challenge, which was short little sprints in Pro Tools. So I'd essentially rock up to the studio, open a blank Pro Tools session, record, set a timer for 90 minutes or two hours, and then I just started fiddling around and playing stuff. I’d bring up virtual instruments, find cool bass sounds and lay out a drum track, put lyrics and vocals on top, and just kind of sing whatever happened.
So that was a project that I was working on in early 2018, just after I just moved into the studio, and ‘Caffeinate’ came from one of those sessions. So it was a 90-minute session and it really just came together pretty quickly. By the end of it, it was the first verse and the pr-chorus and the meat of the song was there. I was like, ‘Oh, this is kind of cool,’ and when I was singing the words, they just came out as I was reflecting on the months of manual labour and working so hard to get to what I want, being in my own space, pushing hard, and taking risks.
I guess all of that was floating around in my brain along with all the coffee that we had been drinking just to get through every day.
T: I was going to say, I'm assuming there would have been some caffeine that actually blended into the inspiration for the song.
E: Oh, yeah. Just the fact that that was the first word that came out of my mouth just just writing that song, it was very much at the forefront of how I was operating and living my life at that point, which was not sustainable or healthy, but that’s okay.
That’s how the song started, and then from there I worked on it a bit more and wrote the chorus, fleshed it out, and finished up all the production stuff, but it was actually such a quick song to write. It kind of came out of me rather than me having to make it.
“You can’t really release songs that are so clear and vulnerable and then want to do interviews and stuff, but not want to talk about them.”
T: You mentioned it started around 2018 or so, so you've been sitting on it for quite some time then. What was it that made you decide now is the time for it to come out?
E: Along with that song, I'd also written three others that I called upbeat pop tracks; pop bangers – bangers was still a term back then. Then I'd also written sad girl songs that I'd written during the time when I was breaking up with that partner, and coming to terms with things, and then working out what the hell to do after eight years of being together and living together, working together, having a studio together; that impossible task.
So I'd had this collection of these eight songs and I knew I wanted to release them as a collection, as a double EP, which I'm calling it. So that was all pretty much ready to go at the end of, I think, 2019. I had the tracks mastered and they were ready to release and they were just waiting for me to release them.
I think there were a few things that kind of stopped me from doing that. The big one was that I had previously independently released music for my band, and I've just found it really hard. It was so much work, I didn't really know what I was doing, and so I was researching and trying to put in action all of this new stuff that I was trying to get my head around.
I knew that it was going to take a lot of energy, a lot of my soul, and bravery to be able to release this collection of songs. I just didn't feel the time was right. I didn't feel I could do it. but then chatting with Ash, coming up with this video concept, and just having another creative person be like, ‘Hey, let's do this. I love your song.’ It was like, ‘What do you mean? It's not just my mum who says that? That's crazy.’ But when we started chatting, that’s when I decided to do it.
I think as well, the sad girl songs are really, really personal and really vulnerable. And I, I haven't felt until now that I'm fully confident and ready to share that story and to talk about those things. You can't really release songs that are so clear and vulnerable and then want to do interviews and stuff, but not want to talk about them.
I think over the years, I've gotten to a point where I feel more comfortable talking about it. So that’s why It's happening now, I guess.
T: I should also look at the video for ‘Caffeinate’ as well. So Ash, how did you two actually start working together in the professional sense?
A: I actually know Emily through the ex-partner that she's mentioned. I was best friends with his roommate. So I knew her kind of peripherally and seeing her at his house and stuff like that. She did some work on a short film I made back in 2016, but then I can't remember why we started talking together for this, specifically. I remember she released a music video for Mackenzie and at the time, I was getting into music and I was like, ‘If you ever do one again, I think I would love to get involved.’
I think she sent me the whole EP, and I listened to them all and she kind of gave me free range, which I was very thankful for. It was like, ‘Pick a song that kind of resonates with you, that you see an idea for,’ and ‘Caffeinate stood out immediately. I really resonated with the messaging of it. This whole idea of battling for your art, sacrificing for your art. ‘Is it worth it? Is the payoff worth it?’ I was in my early 30s, I had a couple of kids, and I had that same battle with myself. Like, ‘Is this filmmaking dream really going to happen for me? Am I just selling myself short and my family's future short? Is it worth it?’ And I really resonated with that.
I remember we had some really preliminary conversations about it, and that she maybe didn't realise that that's what she was singing about. I was kind of telling her my interpretation of it and that kind of made her re-look at the song.
“We kind of said, ‘Fuck it, let’s do it,’ and I feel I’m going to take that attitude into everything now, because the only thing holding you back is yourself.”
E: He told me what the song meant to him and how he connected with it. It didn't really click at that time what the actual message of the song was, which just seems so stupid. But past the initial approach of putting my feelings and emotions and whatever from that hectic time in my life, past that, I hadn’t thought about it.
A: I think internally and subconsciously, I think she was wrestling with those things, and I think I'm subconsciously doing it as well. But I developed a real kinship with Emily, in terms of art philosophy, but also art expression. I just resonate with and really respect Emily. I think we have the same kind of philosophy.
But I just started listening to it. I remember I went for a walk and I put it on repeat in my headphones and I was envisioning stuff as I was walking. I must have walked for 45 minutes, just envisioning, envisioning, and then spat out a word-vomit draft of this concept and sent it to her. That was in 2022, I think. We met a couple of times for coffee and then we're like, ‘Okay, how are we actually going to do this? This is a crazy idea.’
It was bigger than anything I'd done at that point; big idea, big location, lots of moving parts. And I think we kind of delayed it a bit because it costs money; it's a big deal. Maybe we were both getting cold feet. I'm pretty sure I was saying, ‘We can't do this,’ and then we just kind of kept pushing it away. And then we said ‘No, we have to pick a date because as soon as we pick a date, we're committed to it. We have to make it.’ So we picked a date and lo and behold, we made it happen. I think we both work well with a deadline.
Also, having the support of someone like Emily is great. I had this crazy idea and Emily was so supportive and also I couldn't have done it without her. I saw this arc of Emily from the beginning of talking about it, to planning it, to not doing it, to doing it again, to being on set from the first day, to the last day, to now. This confidence, courage, belief in herself, changing her name; I think is a part of the same journey, which I've been very privileged to watch. I’ve also reflected back on my own journey as well, and I feel very proud of what we made.
And just from a directing filmmaking point of view, it was a phenomenal opportunity for me to stretch my own creative muscles production-wise. I'd never done anything on this scale and I had to produce it myself. I had to find all these people; we didn't have a lot of money, so we self-funded it. I had pulled every favour in the book. So everyone I'd met with, worked with, connected with, or had a relationship with, I asked them how they could help out.
They did it for free, they did it for a discount, or they offered me any kind of support they could. I'm just thankful that there's a good filmmaking community here that believed in me and the idea, and also just wanted to do cool stuff. There's a hunger for people to do cool shit and we provided them an opportunity to do it.
And we made something that not everyone makes now. We kind of said, ‘Fuck it, let's do it,’ and I feel I'm going to take that attitude into everything now, because the only thing holding you back is yourself. You've got to be brave and believe in the idea, believe that you are brave, that you are worthy of following your dreams, and you've got to listen to that passion.
Emily Bettison. Image: Chi Catalano
T: How did this whole concept for the video actually come about? Ash, you mentioned taking a 45-minute walk listening to the song to come up with these ideas, but it’s very ambitious, so is the inspiration solely yours or shared between the two of you?
If I could tell you how I made it up, I would crack the code. I don't know how, it's just years of consuming media, studying film, thinking about making stuff every day, and narrative and it just kind of came to me.
I love music videos, I’ve been lucky enough to make a few of them, and writing a short film from scratch, you're creating a theme and an energy and a tone. But when you have a song, the song kind of has its own energy and light and tone, so I'm just kind of trying to extract from that.
And it talks to me a bit, that sounds really wanky, but it conjures up images in my head from listening to it. It kind of came out this way in that first draft. I think I still have an email somewhere that I sent Emily, and more or less, the final product is almost beat for beat the same.
And I don't know if you, if you follow Emily on social media, but if you see her workstation, she's a habitual note-maker. I remember that being a memory of seeing her do stuff – it's just Post-it notes, so that was kind of something that I pulled from her.
But it talks about all the work you do, drowning under it, having it take over your life, and how it becomes your obsession and your work life is infecting everything.
That's basically the concept. The Post-it notes and this character symbolises your obsession with your work and how it's infecting your family life, it's affecting your dream life, it's affecting this, affecting that, and it eventually becomes all-consuming until you literally drown it.
But then, is it worth it? And I think we fall on the line that it does, but you would literally kill yourself for your art.
E: Yeah, at the end in that museum scene with the knights returning me to, what was it?
A: Well, the line in the song is ‘this is what you get when you work hard’. So that’s the idea; you're immortalised, so you're a statue in a museum. So you go through all these trials, and the knights are symbolic of her subconscious battling herself until she gets overpowered and killed by it. But you still get immortalised in the museum for what you did, and people in the future are taking photos of you. Then it ends on that plaque; ‘This is what you get when you work hard’. So the whole question is, ‘Is it worth it? How far will you go?’
The only reason you do make it is because you persevere through that. People give up, even in the film industry. I've been in it for 15 years and everyone I went to uni with, they dropped years ago. I just stuck with it and kept doing it. It's almost like you've got to fight through those difficult bits and the challenging bits to get your reward. It's as much Emily's story as it's my story, but I hope it's just an artistic story for most people.
T: Since the song and video have been out, what’s the reaction to them been like?
E: It’s been really great feedback across the board, which is just lovely. It takes a lot to put stuff out there, to be publicly committing to this journey of being a musician, and dedicating my life to it. So when the feedback is nice, it's just so good. Oh my gosh, I don't even want to think about it if the reception was bad…
But in general, you know, people that know me and know about FERRNS have been really positive with the name change. They’ve said iit makes sense, it just fits, and is a good decision, andI feel that way too. With the video clip, I think everyone has been really blown away with the production quality, the story that's in it, and all of it. On a personal level, I guess it's the best thing I've ever been involved in.
I mean, I've got a couple video clips, and my family and friends have seen them and it's like, ‘Oh yeah, cool; this is fine.’ But then this one comes out and it's like, ‘Wow, this is great!’ The performance of it I really loved, and I knew it was gonna be a challenge – I knew there was gonna be a bit of acting in it. But I believed I could do it, and I just needed someone to believe in me, and here’s Ash.
A: I also just want to say thank you to everyone involved. Because we obviously couldn't have done it without the generosity of everyone, so a big heartfelt thank you to everyone.
T: Now that the single is out, what’s next, Emily? You’ve mentioned a double EP, so what’s the plan there?
E: I've got another single coming out first. We are actually talking about trying to do a video for that…
T: Well it better be damn good, the first one was amazing!
A: Yeah, how are we gonna top it?
E: Yeah, we really shouldn’t try to. But yeah, there’s a single, then the double EP, and then I imagine I'll just feel so happy to have that collection of songs that has been in my life for so long, just out there. ‘Cause I haven't been writing anything new for myself, I've been writing stuff for other projects, but always felt this collection of songs needs to come out first. I just need to get them out and then I can move forward with new stuff.
